Last year, I faced a series of losses that felt like a relentless storm. First, my mother passed away after a long illness. Then, just weeks later, I lost my job. And to top it off, my basketball team—which I had coached for five years—lost the championship game in the final seconds. Each blow seemed to follow the last, leaving me breathless and questioning where God was in the midst of it all.
I remember sitting in the empty gym after that game, the scoreboard still blinking with the final numbers. The silence was heavy, broken only by the echo of missed shots and what-ifs. In that moment, I felt utterly alone. But as I sat there, I began to realize that loss, while painful, can also be a teacher. It strips away pretense and forces us to confront what truly matters.
As Christians, we often talk about joy and peace, but we shy away from the messy reality of grief. Yet the Bible doesn’t shy away from it. Jesus himself wept at the tomb of Lazarus (John 11:35). He knew the weight of loss. And in those moments of deep sorrow, we can find a strange comfort: we are not alone in our pain.
Lessons from the Court
Basketball has always been more than a game to me. It’s a metaphor for life—full of ups and downs, victories and defeats. On the court, I learned that you can’t win every game. Some losses are crushing, but they also reveal character. How you respond to a loss says more about you than how you celebrate a win.
One of the hardest lessons I learned was about surrender. In basketball, you have to let go of the last play and focus on the next one. You can’t change the past; you can only control your response. Similarly, in faith, we are called to surrender our burdens to God. As 1 Peter 5:7 reminds us, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” This doesn’t mean the pain disappears, but it means we don’t have to carry it alone.
Another lesson was about community. After that championship loss, my players gathered around me, not to complain, but to thank me. They reminded me that the season wasn’t defined by one game. We had grown together, laughed together, and fought together. That bond was more valuable than any trophy. In the same way, our faith communities—our churches, small groups, and families—are there to support us in times of loss. We are not meant to walk through grief alone.
Finding God in the Grief
In the weeks after my mother’s death, I struggled to pray. The words felt hollow. But I learned that sometimes prayer is just sitting in silence, letting God hold you. Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” I clung to that promise. Slowly, I began to see God’s presence in small ways—a friend’s meal, a sunset, a memory that made me smile.
Loss also taught me about hope. Not the superficial hope that everything will be okay, but the deep, biblical hope that God is working all things for good (Romans 8:28). That doesn’t mean we understand why bad things happen. But it means we trust that God is with us in the valley, and that resurrection is always on the other side of the cross.
Practical Steps for Navigating Loss
If you’re walking through a season of loss, here are a few things that helped me:
- Allow yourself to grieve. Give yourself permission to feel sad, angry, or confused. Jesus wept. It’s okay to do the same.
- Lean on your community. Don’t isolate yourself. Reach out to friends, family, or your church. Let them pray for you and with you.
- Find a routine. Even small acts like taking a walk or reading a Psalm can ground you when everything feels chaotic.
- Look for small blessings. Gratitude doesn’t erase pain, but it can open your eyes to God’s faithfulness in the midst of it.
- Remember the resurrection. Our ultimate hope is not in this life, but in the life to come. As Paul writes, “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain” (Philippians 1:21).
Reflection for Your Journey
As you read this, maybe you’re in the middle of your own season of loss. Perhaps it’s the death of a loved one, a broken relationship, or a dream that didn’t come true. I want you to know that God sees you. He hasn’t abandoned you. The pain is real, but so is his love.
Take a moment to sit with God. Ask him to show you where he is in your story. You might not get an answer today, but you can trust that he is there. And if you need a starting point, try praying this simple prayer: “Lord, I don’t understand this loss, but I trust you. Hold me close and give me strength for today. Amen.”
Loss is never easy, but it can be a teacher. It can draw us closer to God and to one another. And in the end, we have the hope that one day, every tear will be wiped away (Revelation 21:4). Until then, we walk by faith, not by sight.
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